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How to Feel Sexy (even when you don't) | Red Deer Boudoir Photography

It is amazing how over time, we as women especially lose that little zest that used to be part of every footstep we took. I remember being in my early 20's and nothing could stop me. I felt beautiful, loved life and was an eager University of Calgary student looking to change the world. As time crept on by though, relationships, marriage, children and time took a toll on me. By the time I was done my second pregnancy (which made the total of children now 4), my body had taken quite a hit as well as my self-esteem. I was surviving on Coke and Chocolate bars while I took care of three infants and a toddler by myself at our home near Red Deer, Alberta. Looking or feeling #sexy was the last thing on earth I was trying to be or feel. I never hid from pictures because I didn't want my kids to miss out on pictures of me with them when they were babies, but they are far from sexy and reflect a Mother who was exhausted, run down, often sick and seriously unhealthy with how I was keeping myself going. Looking sexy was far from my goal, and the vast collection of #sweatpants and #yogapants were a testament to that.

GorgeousChaos Boudoir is Red Deer's Premier Boudoir Photography Company.  Black and white boudoir image of a women sitting on the floor cross legged with her hair falling over her breasts.

So then I lost weight. I needed to for me. It wasn't a vanity thing... instead, it was a need to regain a smidge of whom I used to be a long time ago. The young women whose emotions and professional life was put on hold at 29 when she had her first child and then again at 31 when she had a set of unplanned triplets. I often explain that I felt like I lived in a vacuum for five years while I tended by myself a lot of the time to 4 children. Ironically, in the Province of #Alberta, child care providers can only have two children under the age of 2 and three under 3...see if that makes sense. It does because I was overwhelmed all the time.

So how did I made the transition from never feeling #sexy to feeling like a million dollars most days? Here it is...

1) I Got Dressed. How simple is that? Who knew that yoga pants don't feed the part of your soul that makes you feel desirable. I found that when I started making an effort even to get jeans back on my body, I started feeling much better about myself. Pair some jeans with a cute little shirt or sweater - just try.

2) I Put On Makeup. OK - this is touchy with some ladies, but here is my justification. As we start to age (we all do - cry after you are done reading) all sorts of things about us change as well. Our skin, face shape, lines, wrinkles, age spots, etc. are all part of the normal process, and it was amazing to me how my face had matured in the 5 years or so I didn't put a lick of makeup on at all. I see it in photos now how I look more a woman in her "mid 30's" (yes - I am going to hang onto that as long as I can). I am not a child or a "20-year-old" anymore, and I don't want to be. I have worked hard to look like I do and I am proud of the person I have become. Treat yourself to a few new shades of lipstick, blush, eyeliner and some shadow and see how things have changed - as well as your tastes.

3) I Got Out. I am fortunate to have a large friend base. I have single friends, married friends, divorced friends and everything in between. Even at that, I have met amazing people I am proud to call my friends through Instagram and Facebook over the years, and now I go out. The kids are old enough to be at home with one parent easy enough and my husband, and I take turns going out with our friends and doing what normal adults do. It is amazing how a night out with a friend can change your perspective.

4) I Found A New Hobby. Last winter (2018), we decided to take up shooting as a sport. Not everyone is crazy about guns - but I am not crazy about archery or watching to each their own. In that community, I have been welcomed with open arms and have met outstanding people who appreciate me for me - no more no less. I am not the best shooter by far - actually most nights I am one of the worst, but it doesn't take away from the fun I have and the conversations I have with other adults who are all at different parts in their own lives. It's fun to compare and

5) I Put Me First. For all those years, I was a homebody - homemaker and overall slave to my children. I am a worker and while raising my children has always been a priority - I have a desire to be out of the house. I don't like being trapped, and that is how it felt. I get asked often by my kids where I am going (there is always one of us home with the kids), and I remind them that I am allowing myself to be an adult and take care of me too. They think it's ok and that is the best I can ask for at the moment with all these little people.

To feel sexy when you don't feel sexy is a tricky thing to get past, but it's doable. Ever hear of the line "fake it till you make it"? - That is the kicker here. If you are a lady in #Reddeer who is not feeling sexy enough, start at the top of the list and work down. You can feel fantastic every day and while new habits take 21 days to create, its best to start where you feel the most comfortable. Look in the mirror and don't judge - instead, pick one thing you like and one thing you can change and start on the journey. I promise you will be there - if I can do it, trust that you can do it. Suzie XO


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